From Vernon, Vester, Lether and Carvel to Elvis

From the desk of Ned P. Rauch:

If a fellow’s wealth were measured by the number of good cousins he has, I’d be richer than King Farouk. One of my good cousins, Will, who’s one day older than my brother, just gave me “Last Train to Memphis,” by Peter Guralnick, which is a big ol’ biography of Elvis. Because I’m finishing a book about the Marquis de Lafayette and George Washington, I’m only 23 pages into the Elvis book. Even so, check out the fantastic names I’ve already come across: Dewey Phillips, Silas Payne, Sims and Gains Mansell, Vernon Presley, Vester Presley, Gladys Presley, Sales Presley, Clettes Smith, Orville Bean, Vona Mae Brown, Lether Gable, Odell Clark, Carvel Lee Ausborn, Archie Mackey and—best for last, here—Elvis’ grade-school teacher, Oleta Grimes.

All of these people had some connection to Elvis when he was growing up in and around East Tupelo, Mississippi. Do southerners still come up with names like that? If they don’t, they ought to. Pete should weigh in on this. He’s from Alabama and, while his name doesn’t exactly reek of polk salad and gator, he knows from southern culture. Oleta Grimes? Really? That’s got to be one of the best names of all time, and it just wouldn’t occur to a Yankee to come up with it.

The best name in New York right now, for those who are interested, is Razor Shines. He’s the third-base coach for the Mets. He was born in North Carolina. See?

(Photo of book cover courtesy of a guy with a Web site who stole it from another guy with a Web site.)