Selling Out (not a concert)

From the desk of Ned P. Rauch:

Question: Why don’t washed-up musicians ever get their own grills? George Foreman has long hawked the Foreman Grill. Now Hulkamania has entered the sizzling ring, with the Hulk Hogan Ultimate Grill. Old muscle men, old baseball players, old actors (dead ones, too) head out to pasture to pitch products, but you don’t often see old musicians inviting you down to the office for a free consultation or explaining that money-back guarantee. Why? I think I remember seeing an Osmond on a commercial for a Time-Life collection of songs from the Sixties, but that doesn’t really count, mostly because it was an Osmond, but also because it was still music the Osmond was selling. That’s what a pro musician, does, right? And Slash has a signature Les Paul, but that’s his deal—he plays Les Pauls. But why don’t guys like him sell gloves or golf clubs? Is it their integrity? Um, not likely. The only exception I can think of, and it's a big one, is Bob Dylan, who has appeared in ads for Victoria's Secret and Cadillac. That's a head-scratcher, though you could argue if you're going to sell out, you might as well do it for leggy women and long cars. But I wonder, Will there ever be a Meat Loaf dutch oven?

(Photo of the Hulkster nipped from his Ultimate Grill Web site.)